I am not perfect and that is okay. This is something I repeat to myself on a daily basis so that I always remember I am not wonder woman, and I’m not always going to get it right. My house is not always clean (especially on the days where we find we have unexpected company), there are days where I wish I could just stay in bed curled up under the sheets (and where I find the strength to get out of bed I struggle to find the motivation to get something done), there are days where I yell at my toddler (and then I cry because I feel bad for yelling), and there are a ton of half-finished projects scattered around my house. I could keep going but the point is the same: I am not perfect! However, there are a few undeniable facts you can find even in the midst of my imperfections (and anyone who knows me will know these are true). I love my children with every fiber of my being, I love being a mother, and every chance I get I try to do better. As a parent, that should be your number one goal any morning you are granted the blessing of waking up: To Do Better! The last few weeks have brought a ton of obstacles into our lives and have been pretty tough on our family. As a result, I have not been giving the 100 percent my family deserves. Every night when I put my girls to bed I look at them and I promise to do better. Lately, I feel like it has been tougher to keep those promises. Today, was the exception. It started off like the days before with the family eating breakfast, doing a little bit of cleaning, and heading toward a day of bumming around. The weather was gloomy and rainy and while I have slowly been pulling myself out of my own internal storm, I was struggling to find my inner strength and motivation. Then within and instant all of that changed when I sat on the bed playing with my two little girls. I saw the rain through the window and I knew today was the day I was going to teach my girls about dancing in the rain.
Growing up I spent a lot of time alone. I am a child of divorce and my father worked hard to ensure I had what I needed. I never minded being alone and I’ve always been one to enjoy my personal space and free time to think (even though that disappeared when I had my first daughter!). There is one thing that I always loved to do when I was home alone after school that has always been my own little secret until now. I never passed on a chance to dance, run, and spin around in the rain! It was the most cleansing feeling in the world. The rain can wash away everything! It was always the one moment where I felt free and true happiness radiated from deep within my soul and through my whole body. Once I saw those first drops of water I would feel a rush of excitement, run out the door and splash all around our driveway, or hide under the small trees near our deck and shake off all the water collected on them, feeling the crisp cold or sun kissed warm water fall all around me. I would spin in the middle of the storm and feel like a small child experiencing nature for the first time. I’m sure from the outside I looked like a crazy person, but on the inside I was washing away my sorrows and replacing them with the fire I needed to face whatever came my way. I am not a perfect mother, but today I wanted to give my girls that feeling.
After changing my oldest in to her bathing suit top, getting my youngest into her diaper (it was a warm rainy day), and throwing on a pair of pants over my PJ shorts we ran out to the deck. I decided this would be a good place for an introduction to our little dance. As they get older we can do more running and spinning but today we started small. It filled my heart with so much happiness to see how they both embraced the rain like they were born to dance in it. As I watched my toddler jump in the puddles and spin in circles I knew she was feeling that same freedom I did as a young girl.
When I held my youngest in the air and saw the huge grin spread across her face I knew in that moment we connected on another level. Sharing in that moment of mutual happiness. I’m not sure how long we stayed out there but in that time as I danced with my little girls, I felt the rain wash away the pain and struggles of the last few months. I closed my eyes and saw the trees, the sky, and felt the young girl inside of me who found peace on a rainy day. Today, I was not perfect…but tried to be better and I shared a moment with my girls that I plan to repeat every chance I get. As the rain settled and the sun let a few rays shine through the clouds I felt peace, happiness, love, and hope. So to all of you parents who are having a tough day or trying to face your imperfections grab your children and teach them the happiness and peace that can come from simply dancing in the rain.
